5 Things About Me

Inspired by my inspiring friend, Robin over at Knitting Peace. I’m hitching a ride on her always authentic blog post 5 Things About Me. But let me start with the fact that my 5 Things are the SAME as HER 5 things and maybe that’s why I like Robin!

Truth be told, Robin and I have known each other for years. Years and years. I can’t count them. Let’s just say we have known each other since before blogging was invented. One of the reasons I blog at all is to stay in contact with friends like Robin whose minds I long to penetrate, to keep me sane, to keep me connected, to keep me laughing... at her and at myself. Laughter is good medicine. There ya go. And there is an example of the first of my 5 Things.

I talk too much.

I yam what I yam, as Popeye once said and apparently, like Robin and Popeye, I’m a yammer. Last week, I logged my longest phone conversation ever. 6 hrs. Give or take. I am most definitely a yammer.

I may be menopausal.

A few months ago, I logged my longest period ever. 2 weeks. Give or take. TMI. So sorry, but that and the night sweats are impairing my judgment.

I cook because I have to.

I do not enjoy it, either.

It’s messy.

Crumbs in the cracks of my expansive tile counter make me cranky. No one sees the crumbs but me. Or the crusted pancake batter. Or the crispy shredded cheese. It’s crummy. But the worse thing of all is raw meat. Does anyone actually enjoy handling raw meat? I was wishing the other day that they sold packages of CHEAP raw chicken cubed just so I wouldn’t have to cut it into pieces. Hate that job. And I won’t let anyone else do it because if they can’t see the crumbs and the crusty pancake batter and bright orange shredded cheese, they will not even think to sanitize raw chicken schmear!

I hate being frugal.

Because if I weren’t frugal, I could perhaps find the pre-cut raw chicken cubed and buy it, or the pre-seasoned stuff, or whatever. I’m sure it would be easier.

Dogmatism.

Gray is my new favorite color. In every shade. But I specialize in silver linings.

What about you my bloggedy friends? What are 5 things about you you’d like to share!?

They Came Home

Trust me. That pillow did not return from Boy Scout camp that color.

Neither did the Boy Scout shirts.

Neither did the boys.

They came home a dingy shade of brown.

Can't believe Boy Scout khaki can get any dingier? shadier? brownier?

It can. Trust me.

They came home responsible.

I found myself reminding them of things they already did.

"Did you get the stuff out of the car?"

I already did mom.

"Have you unpacked your packs yet?

I already did mom.

"Did you call your dad?"

"Did you remember to put bleach in the laundry?"

"Did you shower?"

I already did mom. Can I give you a big hug now that I'm not so dirty and smelly?

(A mother's heart melts when her gigantic sons want to hug her. I think one of my boys kept forgetting he hugged me already because every half hour or so he'd come back for another hug.)

They came home affectionate.

They wanted homemade pizzas for dinner with a fruit salad. Apparently, nobody cooks like mom cooks, but I gotta tell you, homemade pizzas are not my specialty. Pizzas from Vons are my specialty, but I cracked open the big bucks and bought Boboli and real pepperoni with real previously shredded italian cheeses by Kraft. They each had one big one of their own.

They came home thankful.

They also came home with stories. Zach met Sam and walked with him everyday from one class to another. Sam, he knows strangely enough, from Fresno - where we don't live but where we have friends who do. Leave it to Zach to make a friend connection. Evan received the Boy Scouts of America Lifeguard certificate and came home confident. His Troop Leader was so impressed he emailed me with a suggestion on how we can surprise Evan at the Court of Honor with a special something. I can't say more. What if he reads my blog? Needless to say, leave it to Evan to make an impression.

It was a long week for Jillian and me without them. I had plans. We did good things, but something changed this year. My boys came home different. I think they come home every year ... different. But this year, they came home different-er than all the other years. This year, I longed for them. I think they also longed for me. Perhaps it is because we are all realizing, that some day, they won't come home.

For now, however, my gigantic, smelly, brown, responsible, affectionate, thankful, friendly, impressive boys are home.

Thank you Jesus. They came home.

Eat Chocolate

I’m eating chocolate.

And I’m celebrating!

Okay. Truths out. I’ve lost weight. I didn’t need to lose weight, but I started gaining weight which led to me watching my weight which led to me watching what I eat which led me to praying to God.

Dear Lord, Life stinks and the last thing I need right now is to have to buy clothes to fit into! And the Lord provided.

My Fitness Pal.

I lost 9 pounds. I weigh what I weighed when I got married. Yay for me! I am recommending it to all the mommy women I know, because in all my years of watching my weight off and on, I have never been so simply successful. I know you mommy women who need a change can be successful too!

BUT, I have had to buy clothes. Smaller ones. Never thought I’d be doing that!

Here’s the story.

After I prayed, my husband called me.

“Hey sweetie, I was reading this article about a guy who ate twinkies...”

Don’t believe me? I swear to God my husband said he read an article about a guy who ate twinkies and lost weight. Click here and you can read it, too.

“Hey sweetie, I was reading this article about a guy who ate twinkies and he just counted the calories and he used this cool website, My Fitness Pal.”

Joe started using My Fitness Pal.

Joe started showing ME how to use My Fitness Pal and even though I balked at being tied down to a computer dictating to me what and how much I could eat, I found My Fitness Pal to be my PAL! my FRIEND! my BUDDY! It was so easy and now, most often, I use My Fitness Pal to manage my day. When Joe is home, we sit at tandem computers and make our entries and determine how much dessert we can or can’t have that evening. Sweet fellowship! Isn’t it Romantic?

You manage what you measure and now I am managing my weight nicely.

Joe lost 23 pounds. He’s my pal on My Fitness Pal, kind of like you have friends on Facebook. So, if you want to be my Pal, sign up! I highly recommend it.

Like me, you may find yourself eating the best chocolate cake in the world and not feeling one bit of guilt, remorse or dread.

I’m watching my weight and eating cake too! Yahoo!

If you find yourself feeling slightly ugly at my pronouncement, take a minute to read this amazing blog post about body image and be encouraged.

God answers prayer.

It’s Been a Whale

We’ve been bogged down with LIFE; in a good way. It’s full. This speech thing my kids are doing is sucking the life right out of me on one end and filling me up with a fire hose on the other end. It’s hard to ponder and wonder about things when you are just in the middle of the fun. It’s a great time to just go with the flow.

However, God has brought to my attention a guy in the Bible who didn’t go with the flow. Jonah.

I’ve nicknamed Jonah the Pitiful Prophet. He thought he could flee from the presence of God and had the arrogant audacity to sleep through the consequential mess he created. Shirker! Slacker! Slouch! Pitiful!

He was also angry. Really angry. At God. At the end of the itty bitty book, God says, “You moron. You don’t have the right to be mad. People matter to me.” (My Paraphrase)

Until recently, I had a narrow perception of Jonah as pitiful and angry and bitter. That’s how the Bible describes him. Lately, however, my perception of Jonah is broadening. First, I heard a sermon series by RC Sproul on the subject of Jonah then, my church did a series on Jonah. It’s a whale of a tale weighing the grace of God against the self-righteousness of man and I’m discovering stuff I didn’t know. LOVE how God’s Word does that!

Initially, I asked myself the usual questions, “How am I like Jonah? Am I angry at God? What do I need to do about that?”

Then, one of the pastors mentioned that something called the Tomb of Jonah exists in what was once Ninevah, in modern day, Iraq. The pastor suggests that if this is true, we can deduce that Jonah got God’s message loud and clear and that he perhaps stayed in Ninevah to guide all those who repented. Oh, the thought! Maybe the Pitiful Prophet wasn’t so pitiful, afterall. Maybe, though history doesn’t record it, Jonah’s redeemed.

Speaking of redemption, my favorite revelation into the book of Jonah is this - The Whale SAVES him. Read it yourself. Tossed to and fro by the waves leads to his being engulfed by the sea. Choking the thick salty water of the sea, what air he has left is stuck in his throat; Jonah has no where to turn. Tangled in webs of seaweed, growing more frantic every moment, the surface fades to black as Jonah begins to lose consciousness and HRUMPF! he is swallowed by a fish. The fish is his redemption. The fish saves him. The fish gives him life.

Have you ever had a “belly of the fish” kind of experience where you were covered my the mirk and mire of one’s circumstances, yet it was your salvation? We don’t often see the salvation until later, kind of like Jesus and the tomb ..... (duh - if you cross reference much of anything that’s an easy match). But because we don’t live in the “ever after” but in the “here and now” in the midst of our stinky, acidic, rotting circumstances we forget to be thankful. Sometimes it is good to remember that despite everything, God calls us to Himself. We can’t get away from His purposes. We can’t run away from His agenda. We can’t escape His love.

No.
Matter.
How pitiful we may be.
Because it is not about Us.

Just like the Book of Jonah isn’t about Jonah. And it’s not about a Fish. It’s about GOD and the great lengths he will go to because He cares for PEOPLE, even disobedient ones.

Real-igious

Real-ligious

Jillian mispelled a word in her Louis Pasteur paper today.

It made me laugh.

Real-ligious.

Isn’t that how it is? We think we are being “for real”. Authentic. Ourselves. Free. But sometimes we are more religious than real. Ever thought of what religious looks like? Do you think it might be you? Or are you genuinely “for real”? Are you real-igious?

It’s a funny thing being around realigious people compared to religious ones. There is a comfort, a laughter and joy about being real. Real to walk with Jesus. What joy!

It's been a long time since I just sat and talked face to face with someone real. But a week ago I had a phone conversation with dear friend... I think we might have hit the 2.5 hour mark! Real-ligious. The other night, I stayed up til past midnight, getting to know a new friend. Real - ligious.

Both cases: Women walking. Women talking. Women loving their God and learning and growing. Women knowing they don’t have it all together but, as the saying goes, together we have it all. Fellowship. Community. Real-igious.

I know I am being real-igious when I can tell my friend that I’m so irked at my teen that 4 letter words are flashing through my brain.

I know I am being real-igious when I can tell someone else’s kid they need to knock it off and that Jesus loves them, but they still need to shape up because they are bugging me!

I know I am being real-igious when I tell someone that I have no idea what to do or what to say and to ask someone else because I am totally clueless.

I know that being real-ligious is like this Christmas cactus. It was supposed to bloom at Christmas time, like, I am not kidding, like, can you tell I’m Californian?, 2 years ago, when I received it. It never bloomed. I parked it in a dark place in my garage to go dormant. It didn’t work. I gave up. I decided that since it looked more or less happy despite the fact that it never bloomed, I’d just leave it in my window sill. It’s been over a year but it’s suddenly blooming. Why?

Because it’s time. It’s real. It’s been alive all along but it needed something I couldn’t give it. When I gave up. It bloomed.

I think that’s what being real is all about. When you stop following all the rules and guidelines for blooming, you stop following all the prescribed directions, you just do it. You bloom. You become real-ligious. Like my Christmas cactus. Who cares if it’s not Christmas? Look at it! It's splendiforous with promise and blooms!

I haven’t thought this through. I have no time to edit. But I want to know, do you get it? Are you blooming? Or do you just need to rest from religious and get a little more real?

New Year

There is something wonderful about NEW. It's a great word, isn't it? What comes to mind?
New creation.
New things.
New baby.
New season?

What about WONDERFUL. Full of wonder.
A wonderful story.
A wonderful memory.
A wonderful person.
A wonderful life?

Words pack a powerful punch. Those eloquent phraseologists, able to turn concrete, stone-cold letters into meanings that transcend spirit, touching us deeply are few and far between. I don't claim to be one of those eloquent types, even though I've been accused of saying what you meant to say. My kids say I'm "wordy" and that's not a compliment. But one word stands out to me this year and this is it - FREE.

Betz White is one of my faves of the blogosphere. She went looking for the Word of The Year in her My Word blog post. What word, if you can claim one, says it for you? What word describes where you are at? What word expresses your heart in this cold, January season of hope, promise and future? An entire year is ahead of you... can you describe it in a word?

I chose FREE and I can't really tell you why. I commented on Betz' site and I can't quite recall my ramblings. I just know I AM FREE. I just know I am so grateful to BE FREE. Even if I don't feel free, FREE is the truth. I touched on this idea in my recent Thanksgiving blog, and quite frankly, I'm glad I live there still.

Perhaps the word jumped out at me because the verse tumbling out of my mouth lately is this verse. I don't know how or why it grabbed hold of me, but here it is -

Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. (2 Cor 3:17)

FREE.

What's your word of the year?

How I Know 2011 Will Be A Very Good Year

When we moved from California to Colorado in 2004, our hearts broke. All the people we’d miss was first and foremost on our minds, but it’s not until you get to a new place that you realize how much you enjoyed the simple things like Round Table Pizza or Togos. My fellow newly planted Coloradoans rejoiced with me when they built the Costco in Colorado Springs, but despite several writing campaigns, we were never able to talk Trader Joe’s into towing the line all the way to the Rocky Mountain State. Alas, some things you just have to learn to live without.

When I moved back to California from Colorado in 2007 I tried to focus on what I was gaining, not all that I was losing. Fresh air. Ta ta. Blue Skies. Asta La Vista. Whisper of new fallen snow. Sayonara, baby. (Oh, and you sierra folk who think you have whisper of new fallen snow, you don’t. You just think you do. It’s slushy and globby and nothing whisper like.) But anyway.... When we returned to our home state, we had lots of Round Table Pepperoni Pizza, crispy, spicy and greasy and just the way we like it. Togos, #27, wheat, extra pickles. Need I say more? TJ’s... I admit, I have a love affair with their salt and pepper ridge cut potato chips! BUT, I could not have anticipated the blessing of this .... new.....development.

(drum roll please) .....Yah Baby!

Hobby Lobby is coming to California!!!

And get this!

Tomorrow, Monday, January 3rd we have to drive ALL THE WAY TO TULARE.... for a speech thing. And guess what? This is the good part! Aren't you dying to know????

Tomorrow, Monday, January 3rd is the GRAND OPENING of the NEW Visalia HOBBY LOBBY! Do you know how far it is from the Tulare speech thing to the new Hobby Lobby?... 7 measley miles!!!

Guess how fast I’m going to hightail it outa my speech thing dragging my children behind me tomorrow, January 3rd?

Lightning, baby....don’t blink, because I’m gonna be outa there..... VaVaroom!

2011 is going to be a very
Hobby New Year!

Bring an Umbrella

It was supposed to rain. It did. The weatherman was right this time. But my friend just said, “Bring an umbrella.”

It was a Christmas Party and a Caroling Party and my friend’s way of blessing her neighborhood. True enough, the gospel is contained within the lyrics of many a Christmas Carol. The Light of the World’s story is sung. The name, Jesus, is pronounced as the King of kings and Lord of lords, and people smile. I don’t know the impact a Caroling Party can make in one’s neighborhood, but I know the impact it makes on me.

Years ago I remember having caroling parties. It was tradition for us back then, too. It was my heart to bless my neighbors with truth and love and music and it was so much fun to be with my friends. I hoped for some of that tonight and I got it in spades. Spades, I tell you!

The truth of the matter is you can’t rain on a Jesus Parade and that’s what we were... that’s what we are. When the Wonderful Counselor shows up and the Spirit is walking along side you, what’s revealed is encouragement, hope, fellowship, friendship, food, laughter, games and quite simply, peace on earth. It’s not contained in the activity itself but in the people who bring the message.

Often our instinct is to look at the circumstances. “It’s raining,” you might say. But my friend said, “Bring an umbrella,” because she knows what matters. It is not what you see, but what you don’t see. It’s not the obstacles or inconveniences, those things are always temporary. What counts is people, living for eternity’s sake with streams of living water flowing from them. Rain is just wet and rain always goes away. By the way, God sends rain. Matthew 5:45

So whether you are toting an umbrella or singing in the rain or walking on sunshine remember this, "Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, streams of living water will flow from within him." John 7:38

I say.... Let it Rain.

Merry Peopling to You

It is not how much we have, but how much we enjoy, that makes happiness. - Charles Spurgeon

Isn’t that the truth?

Some people would argue that starving people in deprived countries need STUFF. What I argue is that they need HOPE... and yes, clothes, clean water, access to healthcare and education, freedom, Jesus... My heart aches for the broken hearted and crushed in spirit... everywhere...and for some people in the world, hope is borne in a vaccination, a sewing machine, a well dug in their community.

Community.

Many of the studies that have been done on life satisfaction around the globe clearly indicate that PEOPLE connected to PEOPLE creates the conditions most necessary for happiness. Gretchen Rubin makes mention of this somewhere in the first six chapters of her book. The studies consistently show that what ya GOT, physically speaking doesn’t compare with WHO ya got. Good people make a rich life indeed. Exhibit A: the United States, one of the richest countries on the planet, is not the happiest.

But getting back to my point - Good people spur you on to love and good deeds and shall I say it? ... Yes, bring Joy.

Christmas Season is about JOY to the world, right?
JOY to the world. What? JOY.
JOY to the world. To WHO? The world!
JOY to the world, WHY? The Lord has come!... as a... PERSON! A human being. Living. Breathing. He came.

He ate. He drank. He laughed. He touched. He wept. He cooked. He sang. He listened. He spoke.

Do you hear the bells ringing it? The songs being song? Are they resounding in your heart and your home? Are you sharing that music with people? Are you donating to charity or buying someone in Chile a cow? If so, are you enJOYing it?

It’s not how much we have, but how much we enjoy, that makes happiness.

So whether you are ready up to your eyeballs in Christmas boxes stuffed with stuff from too many years of tchachke collecting, or whether you are up to your eyeballs in bills and burdens, enJOY your holiday season... with PEOPLE..... and your God.

I wish you JOY! To who? To YOU!

Here is my little drummer boy. We Got The Beat day is his favorite day of the week. Why? Because in addition to drumming, he loves “peopling”. He made that word up. He said one day after I asked the “How was your day, dear?” question that he had a great “peopling” day.
I said, “What do you mean, ‘peopling’ honey?”
He replied, “I just love people.”

I think Jesus did, too.

Generosity

We love because....

My little girl has been on-the-ball this Christmas season. Do you have any kids like that?

Even before the holiday she wants to go shopping. Not for herself. For others. She is begging to look at Amazon wish lists. She is counting her money and even making a budget. She is probing her brothers for everything they want, because she wants to (smirk, giggle, eyes lit up) SURPRISE them!

I am in wonder of her generosity.

Jillian: Mommy, why is everything on your amazon wish list so expensive?

Me: I don’t know honey. Maybe it’s because the things I want and need that are cheap, I just buy them for myself.

(In the back of my head the little voice cries out, “Do not cheat her of the joy of giving! FIND SOMETHING that she can give you. She wants to do it. She wants to give!”)

(The other voice in the back of my head asks, “When did she look at the amazon wish list? Who was her accomplice? Are there other things she’s doing on the internet I don’t know about?)

(Voice Number Three arrives - yes, I talk to myself often - and she says, “Relax.”)

So, today, I need to find something that she is excited to give me that she can afford so that she can enjoy the gift of giving me something I want. Isn’t that a funny take on Christmas giving?... My 10 year old’s heart is so generous - a lot like Jesus’ heart.

Jesus can afford everything and He gave it all. All. He didn’t hold one thing back. He didn’t budget His mercy or His grace. He didn’t try to do what was convenient or easy. He KNEW what we most wanted. He KNEW what we most needed and he poured himself lavishly...isn’t that a beautiful word? ...lavishly....excitedly....sacrificially....joyfully.... and He still does it today. It’s why He came. So that he could keep on giving!

How great is the love the Father has lavished on us. 1 John 3:1

Why? We love because.... He first loved us. He came so that He could give love, through us.

So whatever you are in position to give this holiday... to your God or to your family or to your friends.... Give it like a little child. Smirk. Giggle. SURPRISE! Let your eyes light up and GIVE. Don’t hold back. Don’t worry about the details. Just do it. Lavishly, excitedly, sacrificially and by all means, joyfully.

God loves a cheerful giver. 2 Cor. 9:7
He loves it. Don’t you?

This is my cheerful giver giving me a bouquet of paper flowers she made for me and our skyping with daddy so he can see them.

Extra Especially Blessed Brag Blog

We had a marathon day in Fresno yesterday. 15 hrs. Grande. I woke this morning with a spring in my step because the adrenalin from a God crafted blessing is still running in my veins. Thank you Jesus. Thank you Grandma and Grandpa for coming to see the show!

All semester, starting in August, the kids have been involved in some really cool stuff. Last night, at their semester concert, we got to see many pieces come together. Not everything, but some of it. What’s hardest to record are the relationships being forged. When I think of the people we have met and are getting to know better, the word “abundance” comes to mind. I rejoice seeing glimpses of Heaven.

Eventually, we’ll have our own DVD of the evening. I’d love to try to post snippets if I can figure it out. Stuff will likely end up on YouTube, at least from the high school crowd. For now, you can see the works in progress and the reasons why we feel extra especially blessed.

A bit from Zach’s Youth Choir at People’s School for Creative Arts


This is a bit from a Interpretive Speech the boys are working on together. It falls into the “duo” category and we’re learning how to do this together. They will take it into competition with STOAca.org next year. It’s already been changed a million times since this movie was made.... and we’re still not finished with the whole story. Why are we doing this? I don’t know.... but it’s FUN! Oh, and this had nothing to do with last night’s festivities but we did have speech practice before the concert!


I didn’t want to inundate you with choir stuff, but here’s a sample of what Jillian’s learning and getting to share with her class.



Evan’s Concert Choir practices are only once a week for 2 hrs. It blows my mind that our kids can compete with local high schools, but there you go. This Choral Festival was a month ago. They sounded even better last night.

Thanksgiving, Christmas and Free

It’s beginning to FEEL a lot like Christmas....

Okay, it’s not Christmas yet. Thanksgiving might even be your favorite holiday. For me, it’s all about the turkey. And the mashed potatoes. And the green bean casserole. And the pumpkin pie. And the people.... oh..... I love that part.

Hospitality is not my gift, but I manage to get everything out more or less warmish and it’s usually on a half decently decorated table. Jillian always helps. She likes making place cards.... at the last minute.....with whatever paper and pens we have on hand.

Hey! By the way, I need cloth napkins. I can’t believe how long I haven’t had them. You know what, I need to read chapter 7 of Happiness Project because it has something to do with buying happiness. I know, I know. Money can’t buy happiness. I agree! But I can’t help wondering what Gretchen Rubin will say about purchasing?!?!?! Nevertheless, you can’t deny the fact that money can buy me cloth napkins!

Last year I went looking. Cloth napkins just seem ridiculously expensive. THIS year I already went looking. Know what? Cloth napkins are still ridiculously expensive. I should learn to sew. But last year at this time I stopped should-ing myself; I am letting cloth napkins go. Dear Jesus, Can you please help me find cloth napkins at a good price this year, in a set of 12, neither too fancy nor too plain and definitely not white or help me just be content with paper napkins on Thanksgiving? Amen.

It’s beginning to FEEL a lot like Christmas....

I know, for so many it is the busiest and craziest time of year. For me, however, Christmas gets simple. I carve out time in my day to listen to music. I carve out time to bake cookies. Last year, I forgot to carve out time to wrap gifts and ended up at the post office way too close to deadlines.... but it all worked out. It’s beginning to FEEL a lot like Christmas because I am already looking forward to the CHANGE.

Funny I should say that as I recently had an epiphany.

In the last 6 years or so, I have had way more change to adapt to than I ever in a million years wanted. Finally, as we adjust to a new community of people in Fresno (we haven’t moved there... we just go there a lot) I have realized that I am really tired. On the weekends when we are home, I sleep. I sleep a lot. One night last week, Jillian gave me a 3 minute backrub (it was 3 minutes because it was all I could afford....she charges me...and I am saving for cloth napkins)... after my backrub, I fell asleep. Where I was. In the middle of the hustle and bustle of our house. Long before anyone went to bed. I was done. I am done.... with change and the stress even good change causes. I’m done, while being very thankful for the change that has taken place.... in me.

If nothing else, I can sleep with a clean conscience because I am too tired to let the failures of a day reign over me. A clean conscience because I am too tired to try to control the universe. A clean conscience because what doesn’t get done today will get done tomorrow.... or never. I’m thankful Christmas is coming. I am thankful Christmas came. Because of Christmas, I am free....

cloth napkins or paper
wrapped gifts or unwrapped
warmish food or hot out of the oven
dog tired or wide awake
FREE

Evan: I like it when you are like this Momma.

Me: What do you mean?

Evan: I like it when you are silly.

Now, if that ain’t happiness wrapped up in a bow, for a stressed-out, overly-tired mom, I don’t what is.

Despite the breathe of fresh air my son’s comment brings my weary soul, I’m still dog-tired and tonight is Friday. We’re watching Once Upon a Mattress and I’ll sing along with the silly lyrics that I know... what are you doing tonight?

Whatever it is, I hope you do it, free.

Chapter 6 of the Happiness Project

Alright already! I am finally posting this post. It's been sitting on my desktop. I’ve not been happy with it for some time. I just can’t find the words. I know, hard to believe that has ever happened to me!

The simple truth is that Gretchen Rubin is right. Friends are really important. I mean, really really important. I get that sometimes friends are mostly your family. I get that sometimes people live in such a way that a few friends is all they ever want and need. But you know what? God uses PEOPLE! Thumbing through the CBD Christmas Catalog this morning I found this. Yup. That’s it. That’s what I’ve been wanting to say.

Friends are God's Way of Taking Care of Us

We ought to consider that friendship is one of the gifts we give other people. Rubin talks about how to do that. Lots of practical advice. Lots of it. Will you take the time to read, Make Time for Friends? Chapter 6. It’s a winner.

And so is this video!

I’ll try to tell you how Rubin describes the nurturing of friendship. If you are getting buried in the other parts of life that don’t involve friends, here are a few tips to keep growing:

Remember Birthdays
Dear Friends, Thank you for the recent gift so precious it made me cry and so perfect it made me laugh and the heartfelt apology because you forgot!

Be Generous
Dear Friends, Thanks for your encouraging words. Thanks for your words of wisdom. Thanks for telling me exactly what I needed to hear in just the way I needed to hear it. Thanks for trusting me enough to be honest and loving and fair... oh! And Thanks Emily, for not forgetting me ;)

Show Up
Dear Friends, Thanks for the call. You know who you are. Thanks for visiting. Thanks for writing. Thanks.... for all the times I’ve cried on your shoulder.

Don’t Gossip
Dear Friends, Thanks for teaching me compassion and consideration, when I got snooty. Thanks for reminding me that life is hard and extending extra measures of kindness is required. Thanks for helping me be the person I want to be. Thanks for being someone I can admire. Thanks for being good and helping me be good, too.

Lastly, Rubin suggests that we make 3 new friends. How do you do that? Get the book!

I can’t help but to think how immensely grateful I am for the years in which I nurtured friendships outside of my family... because now, in this busy season, I rest well at night knowing fully that my friends (who are mostly in their very busy seasons, too) are counting the years and the months until we can make MORE time for each other. Oh friends, I miss you.

Hey Friends, did that video make you smile?

A Day In My Life - The Calendar Saga

This is an excerpt from an email I sent to a busy mom friend of mine. I promised to tell her my calendar sob story, but I have decided to also share it with you. I wonder if Gretchen Rubin has a chapter on Life Maintenance in the Happiness Project because now that my closets are clean, my calendars are a mess!

Calendar Saga. A Day In My Life. Ready. Set. Go.

So for the last 5 years Joe has been trying to get me into the 21st century and use the computer. I still write everything down on a gigantic calendar and then put the minor things on a mini calendar I can carry in my purse (when it is there and sometimes it isn't).... but THIS YEAR, I finally adapted to using the computer calendar. Easy for him because he can download our entire life onto his iPhone with a click. BUT I am still managing this mini calendar which doesn't have the space for everything and it's starting to get confusing and I'm missing things and I have to reschedule 4 different (or was it 5?) appointments the last 4 weeks. This was after I went to Hallmark to buy a "bigger" mini calendar in hopes that if I had more writing space it would help. 3 doctor appointments, and a dental appt... it was 4 appts. THEN, LAST WEEK, I do my volunteer time with the drum club only to discover when I get home that it wasn't even my turn that day and I really needed to go to Winco!!!! SO I beg my husband to buy me an iPad and of course, we can't afford one. He says, "Go to the office store and get a bigger monthly calendar that fits in your purse. I promise to use your old fashioned calendar and update my iPhone with YOUR old fashioned calendar." Okay. So I go to the office store, spend 45 minutes with 2 distracted children, looking at all my options.....and I buy a planner along with gummy worms and chewing gum thank you gifts for my distracted children... that DOES NOT fit in my purse.

I go home.

THEN, I spend time taking things out of the planner that I don't need. Eventually, I begin fishing out coupons and receipts and business cards that I want to keep from their various homes in my drawers, baskets, envelopes and wallets so that I can consider if they will have a home in my new, snazzy, red planner. I ponder the content of my piles. I sort. I restack. I toss things. I decide to keep my Colorado drivers license. 2 hours later, when I finally get down to entering drum club gigs and speech tournaments, orthodontist appointments and scout events to my calendar, I realize I bought one without NUMBERS. Yes, my friend, I had to WRITE THE NUMBERS IN!!!!..... all 12 months.....

......and now.... I need a bigger purse.

What does a day in YOUR life look like?

Yarnspiration

Oh, dear. Dear dear dear.

I know it’s fall when the knitting bug starts overwhelms my every thought.

We’ve been so busy. Soooooo busy. I mean, I don’t have time to breathe.

But, one of the benefits of being busy is making new connections. I met a mom through my son’s drum club, We Got The Beat. Mom knits. Need I say more? She dies yarns, too. Ooohhh la la! Mom recommends new yarn store. Birthday money burning hole in my pocket. Oooohhhh la la! again!

I’m having so much fun right now that I just have to share the joy. Here are a few of my latest projects on the needles. Oh! and those of you waiting for the lucy bag... well, you might get lucky because I am so Knit Happy I think I may start one of those before too long. I’m just giddy with yarny joy.

Fall. Cool weather. Hot tea. Big red chair. Worship music. Thanks Abby for the new CD! Yarn and needles in hand. Amen. Sitting at piano lessons in Mrs. Walker’s comfy couch, listening to my kids tickle the keys musically and the lilt in Mrs. Walker’s voice as she helps them play better. Bliss. Yarn and needles in hand. Kumbahyah My Lord, sung by 60 little voices. Homeschool choir. Thank you Mrs. Clark. Thank you for teaching us the most beautiful thing a child can sing is “ooooh” and thank you for helping them do it so well all together. Yarn and needles in my hands. Happiness.

Chapter 7 of my Happiness Project is Buy Some Happiness. I guess I got a jump-start with the help of birthday money and yarnspiration! I haven’t even read the chapter yet because I have been too busy knit knit knitting!.... and running my kids all over to choir and drums and piano.

Sometimes you don’t need a happiness project to make you happy. Sometimes you just need YARN!

By the way, if it looks like I am practicing my lame photography. I am. I can’t remember which chapter of the HP learning new things pertains to, but there ya go. I’m trying.


This little watermelon gem is in process. See the black threads? got more seeds to stitch... no pun intended knitters.

The red dooly bop I'm starting will someday look like an apple with a stem, kinda like the little plum hats I finished. Why does red look pink in pictures? Another photography lesson for me to learn no doubt.

This Waterfall Scarf defies explanation. It's a slice of Heaven. I'm using a new stitch technique and yarn I've never worked with before. I'm loving it. I wish my pictures could catch it's subtle texture and colors. Every row makes me want to stitch another, you know what I mean?

Happiness Project, Chapter 5. For Reals.

Okay, so I’m back at it again. To be perfectly honest, Chapter 5 - Be Serious About Play wasn’t all that fun for me. However, Chapter 6 rocks and so here I am, in my dutiful fashion blogging about Chapter 5, first. Why? Because maybe you read it, too and have something YOU want to share. I hope so!

Gretchen Rubin’s points from Chapter 5 include: Find More Fun, Take Time To Be Silly, Go Off The Path and Start A Collection.

Each one a nugget in itself, I could write endlessly about any one of these main ideas and how they apply to me, but instead, I want to introduce you to an idea the author has been alluding to all along....Be Yourself.

In her words, “Be Gretchen.”

In mine, “Be Shirin.”

Simply put, the Happiness Project is about self-discovery. I think Rubin would admit her need to write the Happiness Project resulted from living a full and wonderful life, complete with expectations and obligations. Like many of us, she wears many hats and in doing so, she was content, yet not free. She needed to reclaim her freedom to make choices. So far, she has addressed the choices we make toward happiness in the areas of energy, marriage, goals and parenthhood. This chapter on leisure has helped me begin taking seriously what is really fun for me.

Rubin writes on p. 116, “If something was really fun for me, it would pass this test: I looked forward to it, I found it energizing, not draining; and I didn’t feel guilty about it later.” Later on she repeats the notion, “Fun is energizing.”

Anyone say, YES! to that?

She also makes note of the fact that there is a genuine scientific phenomenon called “emotional contagion” wherein we unconsciously catch emotions from other people - whether good or bad.

Anybody find themselves strangely attracted to people who are cheerful, laugh easily or best yet, create fun? Golly. I know I am!

She also introduced the idea of different kinds of fun. Challenging Fun is the fun stuff you have to work at to get good at. Accommodating Fun is the fun stuff you do because people you love find it fun and you know how to make the best of doing what they like. Relaxing Fun is what we call in our family, “vegging” or “chilling out”. Relaxing fun is eating a bag of doritos while watching your favorite sport on TV, without the guilt. If there’s guilt, then you need to eat celery and carrot sticks for it to qualify as relaxing fun.


Since I read this chapter I realized that I get a kick out of watching movie musicals, reading Jane Austen and going to plays. I love shopping for the perfect gift. Challenging Fun for me is homeschooling my children. Accommodating Fun for me is playing Herd Your Horses with my 9 year old. Relaxing Fun includes many things.... fewer calories the better.

I don’t always have time to do what is fun. Or, I get stuck in one form of fun which runs its course and dries me up. It’s been good to identify some of the things that make me happy because it helps me more clearly see what God has made me to be.

I am fearfully and wonderfully made so why I shouldn’t I just... “Be Shirin”?

As I said before, it’s good to mix things up and not put all your happiness eggs in one basket, you must diversify your happiness portfolio. Now that I have a fuller picture of what is fun for me, I can make some more thoughtful choices and get more serious about play!


What is fun for you? Seriously.....

Musicals are often all about being happy, finding happy, living happy. Maybe that’s why I like them!


Take this quiz and see if you can identify the musical that goes with the song.

1. Favorite Things (ask yourself: what are a few of your favorite things?)

2. I Enjoy Being a Girl (what about being a girl do you enjoy?)

3. Happiness (fill in the blank: Happiness is.....)

4. Put On a Happy Face (who helps you wipe off that mask of tragedy?)

5. Make ‘Em Laugh (what makes you laugh?)

6. Put On Your Sunday Clothes (what do you wear that makes you feel wonderful?)

7. Thank You for the Music (what do you sing in the shower?)


Now that I have you thinking, what music makes you happy?

Mele Kalikimaka

Being with the Yuens is a lot like Christmas. Much anticipation. Thrills. Noise. Chaos. Fun. Song. Food. Love. AND Peace. We never know what will happen, but we know it will be good.

When my kids were little, I insisted on having every Christmas in our home, with our tree, with our songs, with our stuff. A creature of habit, I like things to be predictable. It feels secure. Yet, I’ve changed in recent years. I’m no longer bound to my town or my home or even my people. I no longer need to have Christmas here. In a sense, I’ve taken Christmas out of the box!

Someday, I want to have Christmas in Hawaii. Maybe the Yuens will join us! And Yes, I COULD drink a mai tai instead of hot mulled cider on Christmas Eve and wear a muumuu instead of flannel Christmas morning. I am more at peace with the unpredictable and new. It’s a lot like fishing, isn’t it?

Sometimes you throw your nets out into the sea and come up with nothin’. The disciples knew that. Other times, you throw your nets out and come up with a whole lot of somethin’! Someone once said, “It’s all good.”

Maybe the Yuens and the Schneiders will meet again in Hawaii! Who knows, maybe we’ll even have another hukilau.

What’s a hukilau you ask?

What?! You don’t KNOW?!

I’m teasing. My favorite line is “Paradise now, at the hukilau.” It’s all there, in this silly, singable song.

And for my friend Jill, listen to the words....they are for you ;)


You can check out Jill’s blog to read about our hukilau prequel. Maybe you’ll understand why I have Hawaii on the brain. It was quite a gnarly ride!

A hui hou kakou - Until we meet again.

Happiness Project, Intro to Chapter 5

"Research shows that regularly having fun is a key factor in having a happy life," writes Gretchen Rubin on page 113 of the Happiness Project.

Tough truth to hear when 99% of what you do isn’t fun. I don’t like cooking. I don’t like laundry. I don’t like cleaning or disciplining children. I don’t like driving them all over creation either....

"Studies show that each common interest between people boosts the chances of a lasting relationship and also brings about a 2 percent increase in life satisfaction." (p. 119)

Bummer. I’m not that into what my kids are into. Yikes. I really want lasting relationships with them.

Oops. I haven’t finished the chapter. I didn’t realize I hadn’t finished the chapter until I sat down to type this blog. Why did I choose now to write this blog? Because I had some unexpected play today and Chapter 5 is entitled: Be Serious About Play.

Seriously.

So, even though there are plenty of parts of my job that are really NOT fun. Even though I’m not into what my kids are into and I spend the vast majority of my time with them, there are ways to play.

Tonight I enjoyed the privilege of attending my Boy Scouts’ Court of Honor. An occasion in which they receive numerous awards. My boys raked it in tonight. Yeah! Worth celebrating. But before we left the house, this was the NOT FUN conversation.

Me: Zach! Did you wash your shirt when you got home from camp?!
Zach: Yeah.
Me: It’s filthy!
Zach: It is?
Me: You can’t wear that tonight.
Zach: I have to.
Me: TAKE IT OFF now, it’s going into the wash. I can’t let you go looking like that...

Horrendous Mommy Moment. I know. When we all get to heaven no one will care that his Boy Scout Class A Uniform shirt was dirty. But the Mommy Monster took over and me and Shout It Out had a party in the laundry room. Big Brother, and eldest child, who was recently nominated Senior Patrol Leader (SPL) starts having a fit because he’s doing the math on the time. Stress. Anxiety. And it’s all my fault. A NOT FUN mommy moment, indeed. SPL will be late to his first Court of Honor that he has to direct.... yada yada yada.

Fast forward 30 minutes. I took the clean class A out of the wash. Threw it in the drier. Numerous debates ensued over the time issue. How long does it take for a Boy Scout Class A Uniform shirt to dry enough to wear it?????

Me: Zach, take it out.
Zach: Now?
Me: Yes, now. It’s time to go.
Evan, new SPL: We’re already going to be late.
Me: No, we are not.
Zach: It’s wet.
Me: It won’t be when you get there!

When we got into the car I told Zach to hang his shirt out to dry on the way. We had FUN! Zach dodged cars, (think - matador!), as we let his shirt take wing on our windy roads. And guess what? It DRIED. Upon arrival Zach looked as spiffy as the rest of his troop.


It wasn’t planned, so I know this doesn’t count as the “regular fun” the research recommends. It wasn’t the kind of “common interest” the studies refer to either.
But we shared a common goal.


I’ll have to finish the chapter to find out what it really means to be serious about play, but on this occasion, we found the fun. We laughed. We rejoiced. We played.

A definite 2 percent increase in life satisfaction, for all of us tonight.

What do you see?

What do you see when you look at this picture?

You notice the candle thingy?



What do you notice about the candle thingy?

For years, I’ve only noticed the paisley design. There’s a vine-like leaf pattern, too. These are the patterns I have noticed. That’s probably why I bought it. I like nature. I think I’ve owned this Yankee Candle accessory for 5 years. Maybe more.

Funny though. I never noticed the hearts. Never. Not til today.

This morning, while praying for God’s mind and heart, this homey, sweet smelling bit of tchotchke was sitting front and center. I happened to be looking at it. This morning, I looked at it in a new way. I saw the hearts.

I realized that often, I don’t see God and in my frustration, I keep seeing the same things. Usually negative. Usually things I have to work hard to fix. Just like I haven’t really seen the heart pattern on this familiar piece of decor, I miss what is in front of me. Today, like the blind man I can cry out, “I was blind but now I see.” What’s important to recognize is that just as Jesus healed the blind man, Jesus needs to heal me. I can’t show myself these things. He must do it. He opens eyes.

As I think through my relationships, I know, too that I often ask my friends this question, “What am I not seeing?” or “What am I missing?” or “Am I interpreting this correctly?” Perhaps my conscience knows what a failure I am...at seeing things way God’s sees them.

Guilty.

But what I love about God is that simple requests, the simplest prayers always seem to get answered.

Like, help me have compassion. The next thing I know I’m sobbing at everything. I donate time toward the leukemia society. I actually walk up to the people begging for money and offer them something, so they don’t have to ask. I pray for the woman in the store being mean to her children, instead of walking away with that self-righteous chip on my shoulder.

Like, help me love my husband.

Like, help me love my children.

Like, help me love You, oh, Lord.

My most recent prayer: Help me see what You see.

What are you seeing? Most importantly, what do you need to see? What simple prayer might you prayer inviting God to open your eyes?

Happiness Project, Chapter 4

Lighten Up.

God knows, I need to lighten up!

In fact, in a group of people last spring I boldly proclaimed, “I need to find ways to have more fun!”

Have I done it? Nope. Not really. But I’ll blog about that in Chapter 5. Chapter 5 is my favorite so far, but here we go on Chapter 4. One chapter at a time....

What resonated most with me was found on pg. 98-100. The author was discussing the importance of people’s feelings, specifically her children. Gretchen Rubin writes, “We should acknowledge the task is difficult (in the case of a child’s frustration or complaint)....Experts say that denying bad feelings intensifies them; acknowledging bad feelings allows good feelings to return.” Please read it again. Slowly. I think it works even with adults. Have you found that to be true?

Many years ago I prayed to become a more compassionate person. I knew I was heavily task oriented, and I needed something to help me live more in the moment. Prayer change things. I still err on the side of duties and check-lists, but I am more aware of my tendencies and mindful to put people first. When my children were losing it, I began to stop what I was doing. Then, I would pause to feel their pain. Filled with genuine sympathy I say, “Oh, what a bummer.” With my husband I use, “Man, that really stinks.” A few simple feeling words is enough for most people. For me, it reduces my natural inclination toward should-ing and shaming and empowers me to sympathize a little better. Now that I know what the “experts say”, I hope those I love feel heard and understood. Hopefully, I have helped them to lighten up.

I love this Bible verse from Romans 12: Rejoice with those who rejoice. Mourn with those who mourn. It’s part of what it is to love people. I try to keep that verse in the back of my mind. I think the simple principle is often the sugar that helps the medicine of life go down.

Other aspects of the chapter are like this one. It's stuff I already know. I keep photo albums of happy memories. “...recalling the past amplifies the positive.” Traditions are important. I’m not so good at that as our holidays are different each and every year, but we have a few basic traditions we enjoy as a family.

Take Away Point: When burdened, I need to lighten up a lot.

I like what Rubin advises about identifying the problem. Sometimes, it requires simplifying something. Sometimes, it is realizing that the work you are doing IS important to you, even if it is a momentary trouble.

The Bible says, “God loves a cheerful giver.” So, whether it is cooking up a storm for holiday guests, driving my kids to music lessons on a stormy afternoon, or wrapping Christmas presents at 11PM on Christmas Eve, I can anticipate the joy, savor the event as it unfolds, and express the happiness of the moment when it comes. Singing along with my children as they play Christmas Carols on the piano Christmas morning is the culmination of all this good effort. Forever, I get to recall those happy times and will have the pictures to prove it....


Thank you God for using your Word to lighten my path before I read Happiness Project, Ch. 4. Thank you God for your compassion on me, for hearing my prayer.