Happiness Project, Chapter 5. For Reals.

Okay, so I’m back at it again. To be perfectly honest, Chapter 5 - Be Serious About Play wasn’t all that fun for me. However, Chapter 6 rocks and so here I am, in my dutiful fashion blogging about Chapter 5, first. Why? Because maybe you read it, too and have something YOU want to share. I hope so!

Gretchen Rubin’s points from Chapter 5 include: Find More Fun, Take Time To Be Silly, Go Off The Path and Start A Collection.

Each one a nugget in itself, I could write endlessly about any one of these main ideas and how they apply to me, but instead, I want to introduce you to an idea the author has been alluding to all along....Be Yourself.

In her words, “Be Gretchen.”

In mine, “Be Shirin.”

Simply put, the Happiness Project is about self-discovery. I think Rubin would admit her need to write the Happiness Project resulted from living a full and wonderful life, complete with expectations and obligations. Like many of us, she wears many hats and in doing so, she was content, yet not free. She needed to reclaim her freedom to make choices. So far, she has addressed the choices we make toward happiness in the areas of energy, marriage, goals and parenthhood. This chapter on leisure has helped me begin taking seriously what is really fun for me.

Rubin writes on p. 116, “If something was really fun for me, it would pass this test: I looked forward to it, I found it energizing, not draining; and I didn’t feel guilty about it later.” Later on she repeats the notion, “Fun is energizing.”

Anyone say, YES! to that?

She also makes note of the fact that there is a genuine scientific phenomenon called “emotional contagion” wherein we unconsciously catch emotions from other people - whether good or bad.

Anybody find themselves strangely attracted to people who are cheerful, laugh easily or best yet, create fun? Golly. I know I am!

She also introduced the idea of different kinds of fun. Challenging Fun is the fun stuff you have to work at to get good at. Accommodating Fun is the fun stuff you do because people you love find it fun and you know how to make the best of doing what they like. Relaxing Fun is what we call in our family, “vegging” or “chilling out”. Relaxing fun is eating a bag of doritos while watching your favorite sport on TV, without the guilt. If there’s guilt, then you need to eat celery and carrot sticks for it to qualify as relaxing fun.


Since I read this chapter I realized that I get a kick out of watching movie musicals, reading Jane Austen and going to plays. I love shopping for the perfect gift. Challenging Fun for me is homeschooling my children. Accommodating Fun for me is playing Herd Your Horses with my 9 year old. Relaxing Fun includes many things.... fewer calories the better.

I don’t always have time to do what is fun. Or, I get stuck in one form of fun which runs its course and dries me up. It’s been good to identify some of the things that make me happy because it helps me more clearly see what God has made me to be.

I am fearfully and wonderfully made so why I shouldn’t I just... “Be Shirin”?

As I said before, it’s good to mix things up and not put all your happiness eggs in one basket, you must diversify your happiness portfolio. Now that I have a fuller picture of what is fun for me, I can make some more thoughtful choices and get more serious about play!


What is fun for you? Seriously.....

Musicals are often all about being happy, finding happy, living happy. Maybe that’s why I like them!


Take this quiz and see if you can identify the musical that goes with the song.

1. Favorite Things (ask yourself: what are a few of your favorite things?)

2. I Enjoy Being a Girl (what about being a girl do you enjoy?)

3. Happiness (fill in the blank: Happiness is.....)

4. Put On a Happy Face (who helps you wipe off that mask of tragedy?)

5. Make ‘Em Laugh (what makes you laugh?)

6. Put On Your Sunday Clothes (what do you wear that makes you feel wonderful?)

7. Thank You for the Music (what do you sing in the shower?)


Now that I have you thinking, what music makes you happy?

Mele Kalikimaka

Being with the Yuens is a lot like Christmas. Much anticipation. Thrills. Noise. Chaos. Fun. Song. Food. Love. AND Peace. We never know what will happen, but we know it will be good.

When my kids were little, I insisted on having every Christmas in our home, with our tree, with our songs, with our stuff. A creature of habit, I like things to be predictable. It feels secure. Yet, I’ve changed in recent years. I’m no longer bound to my town or my home or even my people. I no longer need to have Christmas here. In a sense, I’ve taken Christmas out of the box!

Someday, I want to have Christmas in Hawaii. Maybe the Yuens will join us! And Yes, I COULD drink a mai tai instead of hot mulled cider on Christmas Eve and wear a muumuu instead of flannel Christmas morning. I am more at peace with the unpredictable and new. It’s a lot like fishing, isn’t it?

Sometimes you throw your nets out into the sea and come up with nothin’. The disciples knew that. Other times, you throw your nets out and come up with a whole lot of somethin’! Someone once said, “It’s all good.”

Maybe the Yuens and the Schneiders will meet again in Hawaii! Who knows, maybe we’ll even have another hukilau.

What’s a hukilau you ask?

What?! You don’t KNOW?!

I’m teasing. My favorite line is “Paradise now, at the hukilau.” It’s all there, in this silly, singable song.

And for my friend Jill, listen to the words....they are for you ;)


You can check out Jill’s blog to read about our hukilau prequel. Maybe you’ll understand why I have Hawaii on the brain. It was quite a gnarly ride!

A hui hou kakou - Until we meet again.

Happiness Project, Intro to Chapter 5

"Research shows that regularly having fun is a key factor in having a happy life," writes Gretchen Rubin on page 113 of the Happiness Project.

Tough truth to hear when 99% of what you do isn’t fun. I don’t like cooking. I don’t like laundry. I don’t like cleaning or disciplining children. I don’t like driving them all over creation either....

"Studies show that each common interest between people boosts the chances of a lasting relationship and also brings about a 2 percent increase in life satisfaction." (p. 119)

Bummer. I’m not that into what my kids are into. Yikes. I really want lasting relationships with them.

Oops. I haven’t finished the chapter. I didn’t realize I hadn’t finished the chapter until I sat down to type this blog. Why did I choose now to write this blog? Because I had some unexpected play today and Chapter 5 is entitled: Be Serious About Play.

Seriously.

So, even though there are plenty of parts of my job that are really NOT fun. Even though I’m not into what my kids are into and I spend the vast majority of my time with them, there are ways to play.

Tonight I enjoyed the privilege of attending my Boy Scouts’ Court of Honor. An occasion in which they receive numerous awards. My boys raked it in tonight. Yeah! Worth celebrating. But before we left the house, this was the NOT FUN conversation.

Me: Zach! Did you wash your shirt when you got home from camp?!
Zach: Yeah.
Me: It’s filthy!
Zach: It is?
Me: You can’t wear that tonight.
Zach: I have to.
Me: TAKE IT OFF now, it’s going into the wash. I can’t let you go looking like that...

Horrendous Mommy Moment. I know. When we all get to heaven no one will care that his Boy Scout Class A Uniform shirt was dirty. But the Mommy Monster took over and me and Shout It Out had a party in the laundry room. Big Brother, and eldest child, who was recently nominated Senior Patrol Leader (SPL) starts having a fit because he’s doing the math on the time. Stress. Anxiety. And it’s all my fault. A NOT FUN mommy moment, indeed. SPL will be late to his first Court of Honor that he has to direct.... yada yada yada.

Fast forward 30 minutes. I took the clean class A out of the wash. Threw it in the drier. Numerous debates ensued over the time issue. How long does it take for a Boy Scout Class A Uniform shirt to dry enough to wear it?????

Me: Zach, take it out.
Zach: Now?
Me: Yes, now. It’s time to go.
Evan, new SPL: We’re already going to be late.
Me: No, we are not.
Zach: It’s wet.
Me: It won’t be when you get there!

When we got into the car I told Zach to hang his shirt out to dry on the way. We had FUN! Zach dodged cars, (think - matador!), as we let his shirt take wing on our windy roads. And guess what? It DRIED. Upon arrival Zach looked as spiffy as the rest of his troop.


It wasn’t planned, so I know this doesn’t count as the “regular fun” the research recommends. It wasn’t the kind of “common interest” the studies refer to either.
But we shared a common goal.


I’ll have to finish the chapter to find out what it really means to be serious about play, but on this occasion, we found the fun. We laughed. We rejoiced. We played.

A definite 2 percent increase in life satisfaction, for all of us tonight.