What Should You Do?

I should blog.

My friend, Jocelyn should blog, too.

So should Robin.

We are all overdue in our blog updates and should get back to it.

I should also catch up on facebook. So many friends I should write to. I should mop my floor well because the last time I did it, I was hasty. I should be at the gym this morning, not blogging. I should floss more. I should send thank you notes for my birthday presents. I should go through that pile of papers on the counter. I should wash the sheets today. I should spend more time with the dog. I should.....

Do you feel the anxiety? What should you be doing besides reading my blog? Do you have similar thoughts now running through your head? Has the guilt-trip set in? Proverbs 12:25 says that a person’s anxiety will weigh him down. Is your heart heavy with the shoulds you should do?

Years ago a friend lent me a secular parenting book titled Parenting with Love and Logic. It’s great. I applied a few of the simplest principles to my parenting and it made a lot of difference. In practice, it demonstrated the power of our choice of words. It’s not just what we say that counts but how we say it. Ever notice how often the Bible says we ought to “build each other up”? As a result of Love and Logic language, I chose to reconstruct the way I phrased things so that my words would be helpful to my children and really benefit them.

I am currently reading Losing Control and Liking it: How to Set your Teen and Yourself Free. Chapter 6 is about the 3 Habits of Highly Controlling People and since I don’t want to be a highly controlling person, I dove right in. Habit #1 - SHOULDS should be avoided!

Should Thinking invokes a sense of condemnation. Behind every should is a judgment.
I should get more organized... (but I don’t because I am lazy.) Should Thinking makes me feel defeated.

Should Thinking sabotages choice-making and generates feelings of obligation. I should volunteer to be a merit badge counselor, because I should do my part like all the other parents. Should Thinking makes me feel guilty.

Should Thinking removes reward, because of course, you should have earned an A on that test anyway. Should Thinking thwarts joy.

Do you get it? I hope this translates to your life and circumstances. It does mine. How many times each week do I tell my children they should..... (you fill in the blank)? How often do I subtly condemn? impose obligation? and press them into performing without hope of any credit? Guilt motivated living is not living.

Since there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, delete the shoulds from your vocabulary.

Insert words like - could - would like to - I wish - I choose. When you do so, you tell the truth. There is a lot about shoulds that create little white lies in your life. God loves a cheerful giver, so give cheerfully and not under compulsion.
A person's anxiety will weigh him down, but an encouraging word makes him joyful. Prov 12:25

If you are game join me in the month of November. It is NO SHOULDS month. Here is my commitment:

I will not should myself, my husband or my children. I choose to eliminate shoulds from my vocabulary and would like to use more encouraging words instead.

Anyone want to play?

I Need a Man

I need a man. I know. I chose to live all this distance from my husband’s work place. He likes the mountains and the space. I like the space. I like my very nice house and yard and seasons and.... and.... I need a man.

I need a man because Tucker has a tick. gross. The boys are real troopers when it comes to killing big spiders and disposing of dead squirrels that the cats drag in. They clean up the garbage if the raccoons get wily on us. They manage dead rodents, birds, bats and lizards but I found out today, ticks are NOT part of their removal repertoire. I need a man!

I went on-line once again to see what the protocol is for tick removal. I can’t do it. I just can’t. I’m the mom who cringes when she looks at her little girl’s split finger or the little boy’s gushing with blood chin. I squint my eyes and pray its not gross or that I can tell right away it is ER worthy, quickly cover the wound and rush screaming child and queasy mommy (me) to Urgent Care. Do they have Urgent Care for dog tick removal? Am I a city girl or what!?

I need a man. In two and half years of living here, I haven’t missed my dear hubby that much. I mean, I do. I mean, I married the guy! I mean, I like him, I love him, I said “I do!” You know what I mean, don’t you? I mean, I appreciate the guy. He changes light bulbs and fills up my tank. He also makes me laugh and listens to me whine. It’s just that despite all the love around here, I don’t need him here every single day....unless the DOG has a TICK and I need a MAN!

Juicy Morsels

It’s Juicy Morsel Season. Yesterday, my friend brought over a ton, yes a ton! of apples. With the handy dandy apple peeler corer slicer and many hands to lighten the work, I am smelling the sweet aroma of mushy apples simmering on the stove as they await their turn in the food processor. Yet another friend is in the habit of sending us Mrs. Prindables which combines the best of fall - sweet caramel, sweet chocolate, and sweet apples. Currently, I am looking for an excuse to try Snickers Salad. If I had planned better last night I would have served it to company. An apply, snickery, cool whippy new dessert I’ve been meaning to try, sounds like a juicy morsel indeed. Juicy morsels. I love fall.

Here’s a juicy morsel: When you get to the end of yourself, you get to the beginning of God.

I think that’s true, don’t you?

In fact, I think so much of that catch phrase it’s the tag-line on my emails for the last few years now. I guess I need it there to remind me that sometimes it is okay to “Let go and let God” without the cliche.

I don’t know who gets the credit for those juicy morsels but here’s one from CS Lewis. “Pain is God’s megaphone.”

Do you agree with that?

I can recall vividly when my little boy, in the middle of vomiting cried out, “Pray for me mommy!” This was his habit actually. When the stomach flu hit this kid, I learned to pray in ways I had only once prayed for myself. His passion for prayer was acute. You could hear his desperation in the tone of voice. Never have I heard anyone ask me pray for them with such passion. Pain really is God’s megaphone.

Yet another: The good is the enemy of the best.

Heard that one? In a casual conversation recently, I mentioned that phrase. I brought it up with that familiar introduction, “You know what they say? The good is the enemy of the best.” My friend replied,” No, I haven’t heard that before.”

Whoa! Some juicy morsels of truth out there still. For all of us, I suppose.

What are your favorite juicy morsels of truth to share?