Happiness Project, Chapter 4

Lighten Up.

God knows, I need to lighten up!

In fact, in a group of people last spring I boldly proclaimed, “I need to find ways to have more fun!”

Have I done it? Nope. Not really. But I’ll blog about that in Chapter 5. Chapter 5 is my favorite so far, but here we go on Chapter 4. One chapter at a time....

What resonated most with me was found on pg. 98-100. The author was discussing the importance of people’s feelings, specifically her children. Gretchen Rubin writes, “We should acknowledge the task is difficult (in the case of a child’s frustration or complaint)....Experts say that denying bad feelings intensifies them; acknowledging bad feelings allows good feelings to return.” Please read it again. Slowly. I think it works even with adults. Have you found that to be true?

Many years ago I prayed to become a more compassionate person. I knew I was heavily task oriented, and I needed something to help me live more in the moment. Prayer change things. I still err on the side of duties and check-lists, but I am more aware of my tendencies and mindful to put people first. When my children were losing it, I began to stop what I was doing. Then, I would pause to feel their pain. Filled with genuine sympathy I say, “Oh, what a bummer.” With my husband I use, “Man, that really stinks.” A few simple feeling words is enough for most people. For me, it reduces my natural inclination toward should-ing and shaming and empowers me to sympathize a little better. Now that I know what the “experts say”, I hope those I love feel heard and understood. Hopefully, I have helped them to lighten up.

I love this Bible verse from Romans 12: Rejoice with those who rejoice. Mourn with those who mourn. It’s part of what it is to love people. I try to keep that verse in the back of my mind. I think the simple principle is often the sugar that helps the medicine of life go down.

Other aspects of the chapter are like this one. It's stuff I already know. I keep photo albums of happy memories. “...recalling the past amplifies the positive.” Traditions are important. I’m not so good at that as our holidays are different each and every year, but we have a few basic traditions we enjoy as a family.

Take Away Point: When burdened, I need to lighten up a lot.

I like what Rubin advises about identifying the problem. Sometimes, it requires simplifying something. Sometimes, it is realizing that the work you are doing IS important to you, even if it is a momentary trouble.

The Bible says, “God loves a cheerful giver.” So, whether it is cooking up a storm for holiday guests, driving my kids to music lessons on a stormy afternoon, or wrapping Christmas presents at 11PM on Christmas Eve, I can anticipate the joy, savor the event as it unfolds, and express the happiness of the moment when it comes. Singing along with my children as they play Christmas Carols on the piano Christmas morning is the culmination of all this good effort. Forever, I get to recall those happy times and will have the pictures to prove it....


Thank you God for using your Word to lighten my path before I read Happiness Project, Ch. 4. Thank you God for your compassion on me, for hearing my prayer.