Shot Gun! Response: Parenting for Dummies

My friend, who shall remain nameless, sent me a wonderful email in response to my Shotgun question. (scroll down. the original post isn't archived yet.) I just had to share it with you. If I ever get around to writing a book, Mom’s Tool Box - All the Stuff You Need to Fix What’s Wrong With Your Kids, THIS friend will be my co-author....and then you’ll know who she is. Incidentally, I changed all the names to protect the innocent babes in her care and who may not want to be the subject of internet publicity.

She said:

Many times I loudly bemoaned my lack of Solomon's wisdom and preached the need for serving one another in love, only to finally resort to threats of throwing kids out of the car window. (I would slow down first, and besides, that's not nearly as violent as cutting a baby in half). For a while, of course, I tried remembering who chose last time, but that, my friend, is a one-way ticket to the looney bin.

Here's what solved our dilemma: Junior was born on an even day, so on even days he gets to choose first. Pollyanna’s b-day is the 17th, so odd days are her domain. If both your kids have odd or even birthdays, you could just assign odd/even. This is a sure-fire way to teach the math concept of odd/even, by the way. They are waaaay motivated to learn quickly when it means added privileges.

I've even thought about what I would do if I had three kids! First, each one has a week of the month. Firstborn is always the first week, and on down the line. The fourth week's privilege goes to whomever has secretly asked the following question the most consecutive days in a row without the others knowing about it..."Mom, what can I do to help you?"

Whether you go with odd/even or week-of-the-month, it's simple enough that if you know the date, you know whose turn it is. No schedule-writing or other complicated systems needed. Don't ever let them divert you from the safety of saying, "So sorry - not my decision - calendar says it's his day!" This takes you happily off the hook, and works for sooooo many petty arguments.

Other conflicts this calendar system works for...

Who chooses the fast food place for lunch (evenings are Mom's and Dad's choice)
Who gets to push the elevator button
Who gets to push the shopping cart
Who gets to pick from the list of chores first
Who gets to use the toothbrushing timer first
Who walks the dog today (might be the opposite person, because whoever's day it is gets to pick the fact that they want to do it later)
Who gets to talk to grandma on the phone first
Who gets the last M&M (although I think this should always go to dear Mother)

You get the idea!

Ever since we started this system, I have finally escaped the bicker monster more days than not, although he always finds ways of sneaking in, as you know.

Hope this helps!