Shot Gun!

Joe’s truck was born in Texas. It’s an old Ford 5150 (no, that’s a crazy person in cop-speak). Ummm.... I think it’s an old Ford 1150..( no that’s when I make lunch each day) Does Ford F150 sound right? ANYWAY... it’s an old black truck. When he bought it he enjoyed making me guess about it’s very unique feature... It has a gun rack in the ceiling! Must come in handy when you are in Texas, I guess. I know it would come in handy around here because there have been more than a few times we have had to pause to let some large animal cross the road. Last time it was a donkey. Kid you not. And all y’all thought I moved back to the city. Well, we didn’t!

Anyway, Evan has recently wormed his way into the shot gun seat of our vehicle. Our oldest dear sweet child repeatedly asked me about when he could sit in the front seat. However, in our family, I’m not the seating official. That’s dad’s job. I passed the buck, skirted the issue, avoided the question. Unlike most law abiding law enforcement officials, Joe isn’t a zealot about the proper use of seatbelts. Oh, we use them. Don’t get me wrong about that. But I kept putting off asking Joe about whether Evan could sit in the front seat. I really didn't want to open this can of parenting worms. Fortunately for me, Evan kept forgetting to ask his dad whether it was okay to sit in the front seat. Then finally, one day, the stars aligned themselves, and Evan was given permission by his law enforcing father to sit in the front seat.

Then, a few months later, Zachary, who is now bragging about double digits, asked if he could sit in the shot gun position. I was hoping his question would “go away”. Ever have those questions with your kids that you’d hope would just “go away”? Well, this is one of those times for me because I knew what it meant. Zachary, is far more astute, organized, and thoughtful than his distracted older brother. When he asks a question, he goes about getting an answer. Silly dad! He said, “Yes, my dear sweet boy, you may also sit in the front seat of the vehicle enjoying the seat warmers on cold days, taking responsibility for the passing of the altoids while leaving your darling mother to negotiate the terms of when, how and why you and your older brother can sit in and share the shot gun seat. Let the quarreling begin!"

Now, some psychology. I am, by developmental terms, an only child. I have a sister who is five and half years younger, so apparently, according to shrinks, she doesn’t count in my psyche and I am more an only child than an older child. But more importantly, if you think about it, when I was given the right to sit shot gun, my sister was little enough to care more about having room in the backseat to play with toys than looking grown-up and acting grown-up sitting in the front seat of the car! So, we never had shot gun issues in my family and I am totally ill equipped to deal with them!

Help! If someone doesn’t help me with my shot gun problems I don’t know what I’ll do! Shoot myself!