Thursday, January 29, 2009

Enslaved by a Cableknit Scarf


I love my sister, but she does not read my blog. I can use this venue to chat about her or even gossip. I hope not.

I love my sister, yet we are not close in personality type. I am the first child, she the very, very last. Psychologically, we are only children who grew up together.

I love my sister, and she is 6 months overdue in sending my birthday present. She is a month late in sending my Christmas present. None of my children have received anything from her in months and months.

So why am I going crazy about this scarf?

The cableknit scarf looks great. It’s not perfect, but it’s my first one and I am so proud. But, I am also sick and tired of knitting it. I have a short attention span. I admit it. I want fast projects, because I can not stand, CAN NOT STAND, not finishing what I start. Cableknitting on skinny needles is kinda slow. There is this inner drive that compels me to at least do what I said. I may not do it well, which also drives me nuts, but I will, I promise, do what I said. Even the promises I make to myself. I keep them. I am trustworthy.

This would be a great quality and perhaps, in general, it is a virtue. However, at this time, this afternoon, when I should be knitting that cableknit scarf, I can’t make myself do it. It needs to be in the mail 7 days from today to get there on time. It doesn’t bother me that SHE is late in every gift giving occasion. No. That’s fully her perogative. No skin off my nose. Doesn’t bother me. It’s just that I want to be ON TIME for her birthday.

And I don’t want to knit that cableknit scarf!

Are there cableknit elves who will come to my house at night and knit a few rows like the Shoemakery Cobbler had? Wouldn’t it be lovely to waken in the morning and unroll it and find it inches longer? I’d take out the measuring tape each day and find it was nearing the 48” mark... oh, the thought!

I can hear one friend’s voice in my head, “Chill out.”

I can hear another friend say, “So, don’t do it. Give it to her next year.”

Yet another friend will say, “Here. I’ll take your kids. You turn on the stereo or a girly movie and have a great day finishing the scarf.”

I don’t need help. I just need to choose. I let the burden overwhelm me. I let the thing rule over me. I let guilt plague me. And it is just a scarf! A scarf! A gift filled with thought and love that has no timeline on it. How many other things in my life do I let get the better of me? How many other “scarves” are on my schedule that are making me crazy because I can’t see how they fit in to the bigger scheme. Why am I like this?

A man is a slave to whatever has mastered him - 2Peter 2:19

What dumb things get the better of you?

6 comments:

Robin said...

How about a little cheer to help you on your way?

I think that cable scarf is beautiful!! You're a great knitter!

Yay you! woo hoo!! stitch stitch stitch....rah rah rah

(and I'll throw in one more '!' for good measure).

Vessel said...

It's only a rush-job when they expect it to be coming. You're good with that. Your sis doesn't know it's coming right?
Secondly, we do the knit thing because it satisfies our creative urges and for relaxation. At least, that's the way it is for me.
It is beautiful. Keep at it. You are doing such a fine job.

Michelle said...

Having 4 sisters myself, I can honestly say that life just wouldn’t be the same without them. Perhaps you could give her another gift for now, even a store-bought one, in order to be on time for her birthday. You can send her the scarf later as a “Just Because” gift, or “I’m glad you are my sister” gift, “Thinking of you” gift, or “Sisters are special” gift. That way, the pressure is off and you’ll have another opportunity to touch her life in a special way. Good Luck! In the words of someone I know, you are ONE GOOD sister!

Unknown said...

Here is my suggestion.. from someone who also has a hard time with stuff that doesn't finish quickly. I started a rectangle shawl that I know will take me forever- but I am going to tackle it a little at a time- even if it takes me a year. It is called Anne Shirley of my favorite book Anne of Greengables- I have to finish it.. Have the kids take a picture of you holding up the scarf- so she can see what you are making for her- send her the picture with a note saying it isn't done it is a work in progress.. Then work on something else for a bit. I always have 2 or 3 projects going at once- for when I get bored with one I got to the other!
It looks great by the way.

Shirin said...

You gals rock! What good ideas! If I had some Calgon... I'd be set.

Robin said...

HEY! I forgot to tell you that I've given you an award.

Go to my blog to see the rules of what you're supposed to do. (the post is a few days old)

They're kind of silly. but it was fun, too.