BYOK or Bring Your Own Kleenex

Emily Adcox shared with Catey a blessing. It was more than that, to me, however, because what she shared was a question. The question was about legacy. Not the highfalutin’ kind. No. Emily shared a simple gift of passing something on.

As she shared, I found my mind reeling back to my mother. My mother who did not teach me to clean toilets or do my own laundry. My mother who did not teach me to cook or sew. But I couldn’t stay there in my mind when I thought of all the things my mother did teach me... to believe in myself.... to trust my instincts... to not give up.... to stand alone....to choose good friends.... to make memories..... to hope for more. Thought I didn’t grow up in a conventional Christian home, my mother also taught me how to pray... Now I lay me down to sleep..... So when the storms hit later in life, to whom did I turn? I have my mother to thank, in part, for Faith, the greatest legacy.

About 8 months ago, maybe it was 10. It was hot that day so it must have been last fall or even last summer. I was on my front porch on the phone with mom. In fairness to those of you have a strained relationship with your mom, you have got to know that my mom is not, nor ever has been, my “BFF”. We don’t have a relationship like that. We have our obligatory calls, which my mom usually initiates and sometimes we talk about heart issues. But it took a long time before we could do that. That day, I decided to put the advice of The Blessing into practice. That day on the phone, I told my mom how grateful I was that she gave me so much advice growing up. That sound, wise advice, have been the pillars of strength in what has been a most difficult time in my life. I hear my mother’s voice when the world closes in, and my gratitude overcomes me. It was time to tell my mother that and thank her.

Emily has 5 young children (one on his way from China!). She’s a young mom herself I think. She is about to teach her daughter to cross stitch. Her mother taught her to cross stitch. Cross stitch has been for Emily what baseball is to some father/son relationships. Cross stitch is the tie that binds, the spark of communication. Cross stitch is a legacy the women in Emily’s family share. Joy over finished projects. Enthusiasm over new ones to come. Frustrations about bad patterns, missing stitches, doing and re-doing. Shared excitement. Shared losses. Shared vision. Shared hope. But her question to Catey was what struck me most: What is your connection going to be? What will you pass on? She asked Catey this while giving her a beautiful cross stitch to place in her Hope Chest.

Here I am, with 3 not-so-young children and like iron sharpening iron, Emily asks a question of another person that is a gift to me.

WHAT AM I passing on?

Some of you know why I don’t crochet. My mother crocheted. Like crazy. And when I tried to learn how (she bought me books and hooks and yarn), I failed...miserably. So that’s when I went to my mom-in-law to learn to knit. Deep within, I was longing to have something to pass down.

Little did I know when my mom-in-law taught me my first stitches, that there was a whole world out there of enthusiastic knitters taking the world by storm with free lessons on YouTube! But at that time, I was trying to create a memory and a miniature legacy of my own.

But here I am today, thanks to CATEY, (who is responsible for the whole Emily connection because I met Emily at Catey’s Blessing Celebration), I am also a crocheter. CATEY taught me to crochet my first flower. I needed to see it all in 3-D. Thanks to Catey, I have now crocheted several hats and this picture is her wearing one with a flower SHE taught me to crochet. That day on the porch, I delighted in telling my mother that I had finally mastered a small aspect of crocheting. Connection. Sharing. Passing down. “I finally got it, Mom!” “Good for you!”

I intend to leave a legacy of every other good thing my mother offered me, as well. Thanks to Emily's blessing, I will be intentional about passing on the most precious gifts of all. Wisdom. Words. Encouragement. Hope. Prayer. Faith.

And if I forget, I have this to hang on my wall. A story to share with all who enter my home. A piece of Emily Adcox and Catey and Me. We each have one. Emily made it for Catey and gave it to her at her blessing. Mine will arrive soon, a free gift given to me for no good reason. Maybe that’s the best reason of all.

For the record, all of my children, including the boys, can knit and crochet. They don’t all love it, but they know how. Best of all, stitched in their minds forever will be pictures of me, propped on the couch, in the car, and in our trailer - reflections of memories I have of their grandmothers... yarn in hand....flowing from a skein that never ends.

What do you give? What will you pass on? What will your story be?