Saturday, July 26, 2008

Oh, Big Brother!

Did you hear the latest?

Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger has made it official: California will be the first trans-fat free state in the nation. For more on this latest news go to the original article at ABC news.

My first thought was: Oh goody! Maybe he'll give us a tax right-off for going to the gym? or being vegetarian? or being the recommended weight? Could we get bonus points for being TV free? Hey! People get tax breaks for driving a hybrid! What about an allowance for those of us who refuse to be couch potatoes? How about it Big Brother?

Do you think they could make a law against Tostitos, Lays, and Pringles?

Maybe they’ll outlaw donut shops?

Can you imagine margarine being illegal? ... Joe and I could start a bootlegging business selling:
- Crisco
- Non-dairy creamers
- Ritz crackers
- Cinnamon Toast Crunch cereal
- Nabisco Chips Ahoy!
- Cool Whip
- Hidden Valley Ranch Salad Dressing

We’d be rich!

Did you know that Ramen noodles are loaded with trans fats? I see it now .... teenage boys in swim trunks and tank tops sneaking to my door Friday nights to buy a stash of noodles in styrofoam cups for the Saturday morning swim meet. I would be the local soup dealer corrupting the athletes in my community. Before you know it, they’d be doing trans fat testing to see if the boys were tainted before their races. Aaaahhhh!

Oh, Brother! Now I’m having visions of Michael Phelps being carried away in handcuffs and it’s all my fault. I can’t stomach the thought. Will the Pantry Police come and get me? I really think I need to snack on a bag of Ranch Flavored Doritos. Until Big Brother makes more laws, they are only 3 bucks a bag.

5 comments:

Denise said...

i like to bake my ramen in the oven then mix it in a chinese chicken salad. is arnold gonna take that away from me?

Echoes in Ink said...

Oh my goodness! My Aunty's a bootlegger! What is the world coming to?

But really, life without Ramen? What IS the world coming to?

-Catey

Unknown said...

I am gonna make money off this too. You owe me hush money so I don't tell them that you are not a bootlegger but a PUSHER! You heard me PUSHER.....pushing PopTarts and Twinkies on unsuspecting little boys!!! And now they are hooked. Gecko screams down the breakfast aisle,"PooooppppTtttaaarrrtsss!!!!" and on the cookie aisle, Spidey just points and drools while screaming, "aaaaaahhhhhhhh!!"
I need the number to the governator!

Vessel said...

You are a pringles junkie like me.
As long as they don't outlaw SALTY snack, we are somewhat ok.

Robin said...

A tax break for not being couch potatoes!

Inspired!!