Happiness Project, Chapter 2

Gretchen Rubin titles her Chapter: Remember Love

Yeah. I remember it.

Hear the ringing enthusiasm in my voice? I’ve been married 22 years and sometimes I think if I haven’t figured it out by now, I never will. That’s what I thought at the beginning of the chapter, but as I read along, I realized I was reading a woman’s journal as she discovered truths I have already learned such as “nagging only makes him feel bad and me feel worse”. (Those are my words, not Rubin’s and if you haven’t figured that one out yet, every time you nag, pinch yourself or sit in time-out or make yourself take a spoonful of cod liver oil. Stop nagging, ladies, you are just digging a hole for yourself that someday you will be buried in.)

Okay. Moving on.

Chapter 2 was a celebration of what I have learned and what I have already put into practice in my life and in my marriage. Yahoo! Nothing to work on!?

No, I’m not that lucky.

Doing something about something....hmmmm.... I mentioned that in my last post.

Here’s Rubin: “Happiness,” wrote Yeats, “Is neither virtue nor pleasure, nor this thing nor that, but simply growth. We are happy when we are growing.” Contemporary researchers make the same argument: that it isn’t goal attainment but the process of striving after goals - that is, growth - that brings happiness.”

I know and you probably do too, that husbands want happy wives. It’s that simple. Heard the phrase, If Momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody’s happy? It’s true, isn’t it? So, get happy!

But, how?

On page 68 Rubin reminds her readers, “The fact is - you can’t change anyone but yourself.”

Duh. That’s marriage 101, right? Putting that principle into practice is perhaps that hardest part about being married, but at our core we know we ought not strive to change our husbands. So, embrace the truth. Change yourself. (For the record, I believe abuse situations require more than these simple principles.)

My Take Away Point from this chapter leads me to put into practice some things I am reading about in another book, For the Family’s Sake by Susan Schaeffer Macaulay. As Macaulay talks about the dynamics of home life she has reminded me of my overall goal: Create a Loving Atmosphere in My Marriage and in My Home. I have to do something about that. It won't happen by itself. It requires me to grow. Bingo! and growing makes me happy!

For the Family’s Sake motivates me to keep my husband and children my priority and the bonus is that in practice, loving them well makes me really happy. Gretchen Rubin puts it this way: Give Proofs of Love. I put it this way: What says “I love you” to my family?

Can you relate?