Saturday, July 17, 2010

Happiness Project, Chapter 3

In all honesty, this is NOT my favorite chapter.

Aim Higher

I think when you are already disposed to reflection and are self-critical, you don’t need anyone to tell you to work or try harder. I like what Watchman Nee is telling me currently in Sit Walk Stand. Nee says it’s a lot about doing nothing and just sitting at the feet of Jesus. Yeah. That’s what I need to hear. But anyway, blog I shall. Why? Because I said I would do it and that’s my nature.

According to Rubin, p. 69, “...the happy outperform the less happy.” Oh, my gosh! In the Mommy World, that is so very true!

Therein lies the cruxt of my difficulties with this chapter. Mommy World. Rubin talks a lot here about striving in her professional life. Well, my professional life at the moment is being a wife and mother. So, in a sense, where do I strive to do better? That is the question I have to ask myself. What Take Away Points can benefit me in my Mommy World?

I like these points -

Point 1: “If you do new things - you are more apt to feel happy than people who stick to more familiar activities.”

Point 2: “Research shows that the more elements make up your identity the less threatening it is when any one element is threatened.”

Point 3: “The fun part doesn’t come later, now is the fun part.”

New Things: So, where I fantasize about what “real job” in the “real world” I might sooner or later acquire once again, the Now is about continuing to do New Things. In the last 6 years I have learned to ski, started running, hiked Half Dome, learned to enjoy camping, wrote a music appreciation curriculum, taught a literary analysis class to 6 high schoolers, and learned to crochet. I also started to blog. Currently, I am creating a website for families in my area. New Things. Check. Continue to do New Things... yes, but what? I love that question.

Something you should know about me. I am not naturally adventurous. I chose to be. I chose to be for my little girl. I chose to be so she wouldn’t be afraid of trying new things, physical things. I purposed to be a good example for her and it was prayer that opened the doors and gave me direction. By God’s grace I learned a new meaning of being a “new creation”. If you don’t know what New Thing to do next, ask God. He helps people.

Do you get Point 2? I think of it this way, it’s important not to put all your eggs in one basket. In other words, if your total purpose is wrapped up in just a few things and those few things start to unravel at the seams, life becomes a drag. Whereas, if you are cheerfully engaged in a variety of meaningful life-giving pursuits, then you can handle better that cousin, twice removed, who is blaming you for ruining her life when you were both 12 because you were better than her at playing guitar. That cousin twice removed does not have the power to pop your joy bubble; she can only make a little leak, because you are filled with many good things. Diversify your happiness portfolio! (oh, and choose wisely what you fill yourself with!)

The Fun Part: Life is challenging. There is plenty to stew over, but I know from our recent vacation that 3 flat tires in Barstow in mind-boggling heat, is the fun part. We played catch on a blacktop with a nerf football while a couple of guys fixed our tires in the scariest “off the beaten path” place I had ever been. My only trouble, I kinda forgot how to throw a good one. I used to know how to throw a football! The weird stuff. The hard stuff. That’s the fun stuff. The Now really is the fun stuff if you look at it that way.

My Take Away Points - Aiming high for me means looking at life Now with my God Glasses on. I have to remember that all things really are possible; new things, many things, and fun things.

6 comments:

Emily said...

ok- honestly? i skipped this chapter BECAUSE it dealt with her professional life-- thank you for relating to mommy-dom:)

Fun is NOW--- very convicting-- i need to be here in the present and seek the happiness there- not the future or the past.

new things--- what a challenge! i've started blogging, homeschooling, started a non-profit, learned to lead kids worship, hmmmmm that is something for me to think about-- what are some other things for me to learn???

Unknown said...

I don't have problems with the fun part. I need to strive more for the New Things. I am not naturally off to blaze a trail....but if someone starts to blaze and asks me along...I will always go! I need to work on Becoming Sacagawea!

Vessel said...

See...being a spontaneous crazy person can have it's advantages.

I find that if I do one "unexpected thing" (not necessarily new), that I tend to strive for fun, and excitement rather than the ho-hum of a normal outing, day, or week.

Here are some unexpected experiences I suggest.
Stop by someones house without calling...yes, without calling.

Listen to new music.

Taste something that you have heard of but maybe you were afraid to try...like something super hot, or bitter. Hey why not.

Grow some new kinds of plants from a packet that you select (with your eyes closed) at the nursery. hehe.

smoke a cigar with your husband...Ok, not your thing? Well I did it not too long ago and I wasn't won over, but it was interesting what senses came into play. My husband doesn't smoke them often, but I think he likes the manlyness of it all.

Shirin said...

I hear you Jules but the smoking...? argh. Can't even go there in my brain without involuntary gag reflex kicking in. Though I'm sure your hubby appreciated the shoulder to shoulder time with you. :)

Vessel said...

Cigar 101 my husband taught me: Don't really inhale, just puff. Do you believe me? Like I said. It didn't make me a fan, but my husband got a good laugh and we did spend time talking. Sorry if I have offended anyone. :/

Denise said...

i've had all my eggs in the same basket for a while now. those eggs have been hatched or cracked. time for new eggs.

think i need this book.