Happiness Conflict

Conflict.

What was supposed to be a leisurely afternoon nap turned into a heated discussion about closets.

A number of weeks ago, when I started my Happiness Project and knew that sooner or later, I’d be cleaning my master bedroom closet, I mentioned to my husband, “Ummm.. by the way one of these days this summer, I’m going to either go through your closet stuff or ask you to do it.” It’s a secret, but I already went through his stuff before Father’s Day and dumped some shirts into a garbage bag. He didn’t notice and that garbage bag is still taking up space in the closet.

So our leisurely discussion about whether or not to have a garage sale and when/where to dump to stuff, excess stuff, more stuff than people need and currently stuff we don’t want, became a knock-down dragged out discussion about who is storing too much stuff and who won’t let go of too much stuff.

All I was asking was for him to either commit to doing a garage sale with me or tell me where to store the bags and boxes for him to take to Goodwill. (The thought hadn’t occurred to me to drive an hour to Fresno so I could take it to the Goodwill there.... since our discussion, I know I have a Plan B). All I was asking was for him to get rid of the extra shoes I had already asked him to get rid of months ago.

Him: You didn’t tell me those shoes were supposed to be donated.

Her: Yes, I did. I told you when I set them in the garage on your work bench in that blue basket.

Him: I don’t think you did. I remember you pointing them out a few weeks ago. That was the first time I saw them. (Note: They SIT in driver’s eye view of the driver of the car whenever you pull in or out of the garage. NOTE 2: He recently cleaned the garage of a myriad of cobwebs and had to have moved that shoe basket in the cleaning!)

Her: Yes, I did. I am sick of looking at it. And by the way, I needed duck tape the other day and couldn’t even get to your organizer where you keep the tape. I couldn’t reach your toolbox either when I was trying to adjust the thingy on the carpet shampooer and had to keep reaching around the pingpong table into your dark toolbox (we have black widows!) to try to find a tool I couldn’t see.

Him: Well, if you would keep clean the shoe and jacket area, we might be able to move the pingpong table over there. And I’ve been wanting to sell that headboard that your aunt left us. It’s in the way.

Her: YOU are the ONE who let Zach bring home a free camping backpack and you don’t even have space for the 2 we have! And YOU are the ONE WHO....

Conflict. It wasn’t pretty. Currently, my closet is not cleaned. But it will be.

HP 1 I am supposed to clean my closet
HP2 I am supposed to create an atmosphere of love in my home.

Oh my goodness.

HP 3 Apparently, I’m not aiming higher either.
Point 1 - Arguing wasn’t new. It’s really old.
Point 2 - Focusing on one element. Oh bother.
Point 3 - Didn’t make the discussion fun. Rats.

My husband’s response was to clear space and set up a donation station in our garage. See?
The sign reads: Goodwill and Garage Sale Staging Area Only. Violators will be shot!

Sometimes happiness results from what others do for you, not what you do for others. When that happens, you get happy and really humble. I also got hopeful that someday I might be worthy of those whose grace I don't deserve. In the meantime, I will, at the very least, clean my closet.